Answered prayers and elephant dreams

Earlier this night I sat on the floor reading children's books, playing on a toy drum and simply enjoying spending quality time with my son when I was reminded of the gift that he is.

Eddy and I prayed for a year and a half for the blessing of a child. It was a long season of frustration and doubt.  Then God made me a promise of a gift that I'll hold onto for dear life through a dream that I'll never forget. 

Elephants aren't something I just started liking; it's something that God put into my heart. You see, one night in a dream Eddy and I played with a little elephant as if it were our child.  This elephant was joyful, playful and it ran around with a certain freedom.  The grass was green and the sky a beautiful blue with trees and bushes to run around and explore.  At some point in this dream something changed suddenly- something unknown was afoot and we jumped into action to protect him.  We became his guardians.  I don't recall seeing anything threatening in this dream, only that we had the instinct to protect.

I awoke after that with a feeling of love and an understanding that God would provide for us. No we didn't get pregnant right after this. God has his timing and -even though we don't always like it- it is good.

About 3 months later we found out I was pregnant with Joey and I'll never forget jumping on the bed early in the morning with excitement to tell Eddy.  So many people have elaborate ways to tell their spouses that they're pregnant and after trying for so long... this couldn't wait. Joy is what matters and that's what we felt.  Answered promises matters.

I write this more for me than for you. It's a reminder for myself to enjoy this gift God has given. I find myself so frustrated on the hard days when Joey just isn't having any of it.  Those days feel like I have failed at parenting and then I am reminded on nights like tonight- that God blessed me with a sweet, playful, passionate little boy who simply wants to enjoy life.  I'm reminded that I am to guide and make teachable moments; and that I am to steer him in the right direction.

Here's to answered prayers.

“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.”

1 Samuel 1:27-28

* If you will, take a moment to pray for those struggling to conceive or dealing with loss. Sometimes things that you think should be easy aren't and you never know who is silently feeling down. Pray for those people.

Taking steps

There's something so beautifully fulfilling and equally frustrating in raising a child. Some moments I don't even know what to do as a parent and others I sit in amazement with how such a little human can do so much. Growth is a fascinating thing to watch. I've seen many people grow up in my life but watching my son grow is a whole new experience. In less than two years he's learned to move his head, eat, crawl, walk, run and say words like "truck, yup, dadda, momma, this and that" and signs like "milk, more, eat, and all done" I never thought such small things would mean so much to me but they do. I watch him being fascinated with trucks and whenever he sees one in a book or on the street he goes "vroom vroom!" It excites me, it makes me happy.

I often sit back and wonder if that's how God sees us. Such little things to us might seem amazing to him. Learning to pray for instance might seem silly to a seasoned Christian but to God might mean the world because it's a step and steps are important. It might be equally upsetting to Him to see us take a step back for instance as I see my son cry every time we try to go grocery shopping - I know he can handle it but he does not. 

God knows what we can handle and sometimes we do not. He knows that prayers don't need to be extravagant; he'd be happy for us to acknowledge him. Just like we're happy when our children say momma and dadda for the first time. Joey lately only likes to say dadda but I know in the future he'll resume his momma words. I do that often with God, I know he's around so I neglect his name but just like myself it's nice to hear it from people I love. Names are important and Gods is the most important.

I guess I write this to say that God is amazed with us taking steps forward and while it may hurt to see us take a step back He will gladly watch us pick up our feet and move forward again even if they're baby steps. 

 “Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.”

Matthew 6:9

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.”

Proverbs 18:10

“and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 18:3-4 ESV

* side note: I'm sorry if this didn't apply to you. This is just where I am in my life and how a God is teaching me. I remember reading things like this before kids and it didn't apply as much as other reads.

And here's some bonus pics for your enjoyment of my little man.

Home sweet home

It's been a while since I've written a blog so here's an update on the Clark family:

On our last week in San Diego my dad came to visit and see what all the fuss was about.  During his short stay we took him to the beach, the zoo, Balboa park, Snooze (breakfast) and of course my favorite store there - Whole Foods!  There is a model train museum at Balboa and when we walked in Dad quickly became a 10-year old again. I'm pretty sure he could have stayed there all day.  We saw lots and, of course, made some memories - even when Joey, my now one year old, was throwing his new-found tantrums.  Dad even watched Joey one night and let me and Eddy have dinner together.  We went a lovely outdoor Mexican restaurant in Old Town San Diego.  

After his first few days in San Diego we spent the weekend at my sister-in-law's beautiful home.  One of the days we visited the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda.  The campus preserved Nixon's birthplace and it is also where he, and his wife, are buried today.  There is a car there that is so heavily armored that it weighs more than his helicopter, which is also there.  It was interesting to know that the Watergate Scandal was a result of cover-up and not of a break-in.  Eddy was under the impression that Nixon wanted to gather information that would help his campaign but the break-in had nothing to do with that.  Nixon overwhelmingly was going to win that election and some other people in his campaign team wanted to see who was going to come in second place.  Nixon's mistake was covering for those people.

After the weekend Dad, Joey and I started our drive home.  Redding here we come.  We listened to some of my favorite podcasts during the drive.  If you haven't subscribed to 'Unfictional' then I recommend it.  Along the way we north stopped for one night at my brother's house in the Yosemite area.  It was great to see them again but the best part was seeing Joey play with his cousin!  They have a dedicated play area just for the kids.

We finished the last leg of our drive on Monday night and then I was officially home.  Big thanks to my dad for helping me drive home and unpack the car.  Unfortunately, though, Eddy has another month to stay in San Diego.  Home doesn't quite feel the same without him.   I look forward for his return - but leaving the nice 70 degree weather in San Diego for the 100+ here, Eddy is not as excited. 

It's been so fun to reintroduce Joey to everyone.  He's getting his old social-butterfly attitude back for sure.  He is still a bit clingy as a result of spending 3 months almost exclusively with me. 

I sure do miss the ocean, the zoo, the food and the weather in San Diego. Coming back to the Redding 100+ heat was a reality check (Why do I live here again?) - but I do love being home with family, friends and my own bed.

Now let's transition into the question I seem to be getting a lot lately.

"What do you do nowadays?" 

Lots of routine! While I do have some free time, usually between 1-4, everything else in my day is routine. Naps, play time, eating, cleaning, etc.

I know I can sometimes come across a bit lame with "bed time is at 7:00pm sharp" - but that's the life of this mom.  I've come to realize what most parents do:  Without routine life is hell - and I'm not upset about that.  I love the mom life.  It's the hardest thing I've ever done but also the most rewarding.  I'm still learning - be patient with this first-time mom.  Yes it can be hard to miss out on things, but at the end of the day I love being with my family. God blessed me with this amazing gift and I'm going to steward it well. 

So, that's life right now. I'm loving it even in the difficult times. 

Oh and bonus! 

Here are my two favorite scripture verses lately that I'm trying to live by.

"So encourage each other and build each other up." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Colossians 4:6 

Andrew and Katie's house 

Nixon library 

Davy's house

Balboa park - trains 

The zoo

Home

Oh coffee bar how I missed you

Thanks for the trike Davy!

Turtle bay

Joseph's first year

This blog was started to keep friends and family in the know about us and our stay in San Diego while keeping from flooding Facebook newsfeeds.  It just so happens that we are still down in San Diego on the day of Joey’s birthday.  So this entry is going to have that as its focus.  It may bore you to read so many details about someone else’s child but the primary intention of this entry is journal-like and yet we hope you enjoy any way.  I write this as he fights sleep in the next room, screaming.

Joseph Reuther Clark was born at 12:36pm on May 9^th, 2014 weighing 8lbs 2oz @ 21".  Between this day and my wedding day I can narrow down the two best days of my life.  That morning I woke up around 2:00am thinking I had to use the restroom like so many pregnant women do.  When it dawned on me that this may not be a regular trip to the restroom I woke up Eddy and we then discussed what we should do.  We had an appointment with the OB later that morning – so do we wait for that appointment or do we go to the hospital?  Our fear of rejection keeps us from going to the hospital as first resort.  

Eddy called the maternity ward at the hospital to ask what we should do.  The first thing he said was “I think my wife’s water broke….” Immediately after he said that the woman at the other side of the line gave a slight chuckle.  Eddy’s initial thought is that the chuckle was to reduce us as first-time parents – not knowing what we were talking about.  Later we realize the chuckle was in response to how busy the maternity ward was at this time.  We heard one staffer say “Is it a full moon today?”  

Our bags were already packed and we were prepared for immediate departure – but I wasn’t about to spend the rest of this long day without a shower!  I knew we were going to be there for a long time and I was confident the baby wasn’t going to come within the next 30 minutes.  

It was very early so we had to enter through the ER.  The security guard didn’t even ask any questions – he just said congratulations and let us through the door.  The maternity ward was so full they put us in the area used for mothers who need a cesarean.  After 30-45 minutes in that room we had to be moved quickly for an emergency cesarean.  The look on that poor mother’s face was not good.

While I can't say it was an easy labor it sure was fast!  We went to the hospital at around 3:00am @ 2cm dilated and I didn't feel a real contraction until about 9:00am, also at 2cm dilation. The nurse suggested Pitocin but I asked for more time. No way I wanted that if I was doing an all-natural birth. They came back three hours later, checked the dilation and said it was go time.  Thank God because the contractions were hurting.  I was thinking that if the contractions hurt this bad now at 2cm, how much worse at 8-9cm?  About 5 pushes later our little man was here!  

My response when I first held him? Laughter.  I laughed.  I was so happy he was here.  Eddy remembers my first words to him as “You’re so cute.”  He still makes me laugh, he is still cute in my eyes, and he still does things quickly.  

Joseph now weighs 24lbs and is over 28" tall – with a huge head like daddy and big feet like mommy. We can see physical similarities in him from so many other people.  People like mom, dad, grandma(s), grandpa(s), great grandma(s) and great grandpa(s).  He, like us all, is truly one-of-a-kind.  

He walks, he talks and he never wants to miss a beat!  Seriously though, he would rather not go down for a nap because he doesn’t want to miss out on anything.  But giving him the daily nap(s) he so sorely needs is for our benefits as parents too. 

His favorite words: Hey! Dada(dadada), mama(mamama), Charlie (Jason &Davy’s dog) and something that sounds like "tlkdhsn" – and he especially enjoys talking your ear off while using hand gestures.  It is so cute!  When he first started using his words he would say “mama” for when he was hungry or hurt.  

He tackles dad at the door when dad gets home from work.  Sometimes dad doesn’t have time to put his bags down.  Eddy was definitely saddened the day Joey walked to him after coming home, instead of crawling. 

Getting him to sleep was a growing pain in our lives.  We finally found a nightly routine that would help get him ready for bed which consisted of reading the book Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site.

Right now, at his one-year mark, he has seven teeth and he is walking confidently.  

His favorite things to do: waking up in the morning, getting into stuff, being outside, giving mom and dad kisses and making people smile.  He is definitely a flirt.  

His favorite foods: sweet potatoes, crackers, mangoes, breads, cheeses, carnitas and milk.  He and dad have a morning customary of watching cartoons on dad’s lap while drinking milk.  

He is growing so fast and we are trying to soak up every minute of it. Unfortunately he doesn't listen to my pleas for him to stop growing.  We are open to suggestions on this.

Here's to another great year as a family of three with many more adventures to take!